1Pocket Tournament Tip Sheet

Scrzbill said:

Pretty funny Lou. At least you could tell us which one was you. I would be the last guy. Asleep.

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androd said:

"Do not let school boy looks fool you...can crush you like a grape"

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lfigueroa said:

OK, so I'm playing around with this new computer (a 27" iMac), making the transition from years of using a PC and learning how to use it and I'm migrating files from the PC and I came across something I forgot I had and thought some of you would get a chuckle out of.

Back when I first moved to St. Louis, some 20 years ago, there were actually a half dozen viable pool halls and dozens of players around town. I could walk into almost any room in the city and find someone with whom I had an established game for anywhere between $10 and $300. There was always something going on, to include a few 1pocket tournaments each year.

For one of these events -- a handicapped 1pocket tournament and calcutta -- the proprietors decide that they would put out a tout sheet on the back of the flyers they sent out to all the pool rooms advertising the event. Like I said, there were plenty of guys playing, some of them pretty sporty players, and everybody knew everybody, so it really generated a lot of interest.

To protect the innocent, i've deleted the names, but even now, years later, it still cracks me up.


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XXXXX* Perfect format for a comeback...can run out and still call you a 
maggot



XXXXX* Offensive machine in high gear for this format, you've heard of 8 and 
out.. how about 15 and out



XXXXX* Capable of a flashback...will love the format

XXXXX* Can get em in large bunches... take a seat when your flyer misses



XXXXX* Will get out of your break and make it look like his... still scary, 
could snap it off



XXXXX* 2-1 favorite...* will shoot flyers...* a crowd favorite, backer's 
nightmare



XXXXX* Still claims to know nothing about 1pocket..* usually after an 8 and 
out



XXXXX* Awesome offense... defense the question



XXXXX* Dangerous... exceptional banker...* Flyers? You bet



XXXXX* Grinder king...will wait you out... on a good day can win it all



XXXXX* On the loose again...the voices keep telling him to "fire away"



XXXXX* FLYER KING...* will turn it loose..* defense not a concern



XXXXX* Not known for 1pocket... but do you really want to play him?



XXXXX* Will play anywhere, anytime... could finish top four



XXXXX* Veteran has one small problem...* going blind... could still win a 
match or two though



XXXXX* Matches never last long... wonder why?



XXXXX* Has had some recent successes... event will tell... sleeper



XXXXX* Word is out... straight shooter learning the moves... watch calcutta



XXXXX* Has a better chance of putting socks on a octopus... hope he shows 
though



XXXXX* Old warhorse still plugging away..* could surprise



XXXXX* Patient style could earn spot in finals... will wait for mistake



XXXXX* Not a chance... also ran



XXXXX* Tip off:* if he buys self in calcutta... if not, stay away



XXXXX* Word is out...he's ready for a tournament... just not this one




XXXXX* Cannot trap him anymore... will shoot at his hole, then laugh at you



XXXXX* Still claims to know nothing about 1pocket, usually after an 8 and 
out



XXXXX* A puzzling sort... could win it, or go 2 and out... calcutta risk at 
best



XXXXX* This is your basic first round nightmare...* if he feels like playing 
that day



XXXXX* Twice a year player can get it on...could have a high 
finish...sleeper special



XXXXX* Do not let school boy looks fool you...can crush you like a grape



XXXXX* Can play 1pocket... no ones seem him lately...* may have been practicing on remote island just for this event



XXXXX* Flashback possible for a high finish...not a good first round match
 for you



XXXXX* Would rate higher in a 9ball event... do not underestimate...long
 shot!!



XXXXX* Former state 9ball champ...not without a chance...like no chance



XXXXX* If he surfaces has chance... could someone please tell about this 
event?



XXXXX* Just point him at his hole and away we go... "flyers?" you ask...* ha
ha ha* Think so



XXXXX* Playing good... may or may not smash his pool cue this weekend...
sleeper



XXXXX* A must for all tournaments... but can't be taken seriously anymore...
done



XXXXX* Only knows one way to play: fire at the hole, pronto...* buy at your own risk



XXXXX* Been through all the 1pocket wars... handicap gives him a chance



XXXXX* Should probably be rated lower... thinks he has a chance... we told 
him we were using bar tables



XXXXX* I seen him first... NOT a sleeper... just asleep... and I still seen
 him first



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These are all especially funny if you knew the characters associated with the
 lines.

 But even not, I'm sure you all have guys in your neighborhoods for whom one of these descriptions is tailor made.

Lou Figueroa

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Scrzbill said:

Pretty funny Lou. At least you could tell us which one was you. I would be the last guy. Asleep.

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John Brumback said:

I'll second that!! John B.

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NH Steve said:

I'm wondering if this was long enough ago that Blackie Lesieur (sp?) was one of the old-timers mentioned. Also, When did Louie Roberts die? And another that I know was living at that time was probably Tom Ferry. Are any of those on the list Lou?

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lfigueroa said:

Blackie and Louie were gone by then. So was another St. Louis legend, whose name escapes me at the moment. It'll come to me... Tom was around at the time.

Lou Figueroa

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One Pocket John said:

Nice post post Lou.

I have been away from pool for about 10 years. I use to play you once in a while at cue & cushion.

I saw the 14.1 qualifier in chi town. Good effort.

I read your list and it is pretty good. By my adding the names to the comments it is pretty accurate.

Names that come to mind are:
Louie Roberts
Tom Ferry
Whitey Walker (Mr. 8 and out)
Dorman
Terry (old Terry)
Big Ed
Big Jake
Little Jake
Dean Higgs
Danny (from IL.)
Billy (The Iranian)
Bill Crowe
Gary Spears (spelling)
Waffle House AL

Thats all I can think of right now.

I got to play Whitey in a one pocket tourney at C&C, needless to say Whitey went 8 and out. I think he does that because he doesn't move very well.

Hope to see you again one of these days at C&C.

Later

John

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lll said:

lou,
i think the statute of limitations has expired
its ok to reveal the names
might help to generate some good stories
just sayin

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fred bentivegna said:

...forgot the last name.

Beard

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lfigueroa said:

Pretty good guesses. Misses were Waffle House Al, Big Jake, and Billy the Iranian -- who was one of the greatest pool room characters I've ever met. I might have to write something up on him one day. I miss him. Also missing were Chicken Man, Picture Man, and Taco John.

As to a certain pool room -- you'll never see there. Several years ago I asked on one of the pool forums what would make balls slow dow down coming off a rail (because that's what all the tables were doing there, the rails were set a bit low). Chris sees that and goes running to Shirley and says I'm trashing them on line and says, "either I go or he goes," (he is such a little girl) puts on his jacket and walks out from behind the desk and leaves the pool hall. Guess who Shirley, who hates confrontation, picked?

I used to keep a set of balls there and there were several black and white pictures of me playing in the US 1pocket Open on the wall there by the 1Pocket table in the corner. A week after this happen I come home from vacation and there's a package by my front door with the balls and pictures in it and a note from Shirley apologizing but wanting to avoid bloodshed in the family.

I still run into several regulars from there and they all say the same thing: "You were right about the tables and the've gotten even worse." I also hear all the horror stories about how the tables play, the lousy shimming, how dirty it is, how theres no action -- with Big Ed and Jeremy and Bill still passing the same $100 bill back and forth between themselves every night. I also hear all the stories about how, at every opportunity, at least one of them still tries to trash me. But I'm OK with it all.

Soooo, if you want to run into me or play some 1pocket you can find me at The Break.

Lou Figueroa

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Jimmy B said:

That's about the nittiest thing I ever heard of. They certainly don't deserve your business. Should have sent somebody like David Sizemore in there. If a table didn't roll right, he would start spitting on the table. I saw him do it, playing some $100 nine ball. I didn't see it but Buddy Hall said he saw David miss a shot and bite the ferrule off his cue. A guy I know got dissed by a bar one time. He let a week go by then entered the place through a fan he kicked out after closing. He starts out by prizing open the pinball machines etc. which they had failed to empty and empties the loot onto a pool table. Then he gets all their cigarettes, some firearms, booze and a few item, and has it all on their pool table. Then he cuts the pool table cover off and just uses it as a big bag to pick up all the goods and unlocks the door and walks out like Santa Clause with that pool table cover bag thing over his shoulder.

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